When Your Days Are Not So Nice



So many times, we go about our day and those we come in contact with wish us a nice day. Seems typical, right? You run into the grocery store to grab a gallon of milk because your toddler who is in the “”I do it” stage spills the entire jug on the floor. You go through the self-checkout, because you don’t want to interact with the checker, but of course, your adorable little cherub places his hand on the contraption that weighs what you have scanned and the checkout glitches and you have to call the checker over to reset the scanner. The checker or customer service representative – whatever they call checkers these days, says, “Have a nice day.”  What if a woman discovered her husbands’ sexual betrayal that morning? For that matter, even if it has been a month, or maybe 6 months since discovery, it is not all right. She is not having a nice day, she did not have a nice yesterday and she doesn’t see change for tomorrow. She is in deep pain, yet she must go about her day. She gets up, gets her kids ready for school, drops them off, does her errands, cleans her house, picks her kids up, and helps with homework, makes dinner and then does it all over again. She has to hold it together for the family, so she stuffs her feelings. She is in painful turmoil all of the time. Her friends know something is up, but they are afraid to ask. Likely because they have their issues they are dealing with also. So many women we come in contact with on a day to day basis are effected by sexual betrayal. One thing that will help is to break the silence. While we want to be careful who we tell, it is important to be vulnerable and authentic with a few people. When we share with a few people the power of our story begins to break down. We need a therapist who is experienced in sexual betrayal (see www.iitap.com for a list of qualified therapists in your area), a safe support group (see http://www.prodigalsinternational.org/find-a-group.html) and we need trusted friends to support us and help us through this time.